Progress, not perfection.

It has come to my attention that I am a perfectionist.

And while I don't consider myself perfect, or by any means a type-A personality, there are so many characteristics that I DO find to be lurking around my life that prevent from being my fully authentic self.

Let's start with procrastination.  Good Lord, do I procrastinate.  And it's been at an all time high these days, and even though I'm aware of it, and I know that it's not doing me any good, I still manage to put off all the things that I know I want to be doing/should be doing/need to be doing.  This happens for a couple reasons:  first being, that I tend to think that whatever I'm avoiding is going to take longer than I think.  For instance, I'll put off putting away my laundry because it's probably going to take like 10 hours.  Reality check: it took only 5 minutes.  Mayyyybe 7.

Even this morning, I was weighing on whether or not I should go to a new yoga studio to redeem a free class.  "Ehhh, there will be so many people, everyone is more advanced than me...I can practice at home", but the moment I signed up, I knew I had to show up and that there was no backing out.  Yes, going to a new space or experience is scary, but it's also thrilling and exciting.  And wouldn't you know, that I get there and the class was only 5 people and the people working there absolutely welcoming and helpful.

What I'm getting at, is that there is this idea that we need to know everything before we do it.  We need to know what we're getting ourselves into, what the environment is like.  Or at least, I feel  I do. I can get so comfortable with my surroundings that I inhibit everything new that comes into my life.  Probably because I'm judging it (which is really me judging myself).

TIME.  Waiting for the right time, the right moment, the right weather (again, that ol' procrastination) is something that keeps me in analysis paralysis.  I had no idea that the reason why I was procrastinating so much was because I was waiting for these "right" conditions.  News flash:: there are no right conditions! In fact, it's always the right time to begin and end something.  The sign you've been waiting for is the feeling that it's time to move on, that something else is coming.  You only need your own permission to move forward, not anyone else's.

With all this in mind, I've decided to embrace my imperfections and flaws, and really move into deeper transparency.  It's gonna be a bit bumpy and messy now.  But I think that by even making this choice and decision, is already moving towards greater authenticity and self-expression.  It's not being foolish or reckless, it's simply allowing my humanity to showcase through me and allowing others to see that.  In whatever way it may come.

Side note: Happy Thanksgiving! Hope you had a bountiful holiday with the ones you love, and got lots of pumpkin pie and turkey leftovers :)

Sweet November.

As the weather's been cooling down and the days have been getting shorter, it's been so enchanting to see the leaves change color and begin their transition to winter.  I'm always stunned to see colors of crimson, effervescent yellow and burnt orange dance on every corner.  Autumn is my favorite season, and I find myself nostalgic for it, even as it's happening around me.  And although it may seem small, change is definitely in the air.

Earlier this week, I attended a spiritual lecture at the SF Women's Center and got to meet the lovely Shannon Kaiser, who has been an ongoing source of inspiration for me.  The evening centered around the idea of transformation and having courage to surrender to what is in order to allow what will be.  This is something that I have recently found to be challenging, especially in the digital age where instant gratification and immediacy are so strong.  It was a gentle reminder that we all go through an annual period of transformation and change, and that light can still be found even in the darkest of days.  Along with this quote:

"The trees are about to show us

how lovely it is to let the dead things go."

Fall is such a beautiful time to let go of anything we no longer need.  Whether it's a old habit or limited mindset, now is the perfect time to take stock and ask yourself, what am I holding on to that isn't serving me?  What can I release?  How can I find gratitude for what is? Your answers may vary, and might not come in an instant.  Trust that you will be given exactly what you need in the very moment you need it.

In the mean time I invite you to cozy up with hot beverage, a good book and let the rest take care of itself.

On Podcasts.

Living in LA, you spend a lot of time in your car, battling through rush hour and long commutes.  Over the years, this has become one of the more enjoyable aspects about the city ( hear me out ) because I get to listen to all my favorite radio shows.  If you haven't already jumped on the podcast bandwagon, now's your chance.

Of course, I assume that everyone is tuning into KPCC and KCRW on a regular basis, but perhaps some of you could use a beginner's guide to podcasts.  These are my personal favorites as well as the wildly popular ones:

For the epicurious:
Good Food with Evan Kleinman: I adore this woman.  Every week, she rounds up the most fascinating culinary stories and interviews with some of the pioneers of the industry.  If you don't start cooking or thinking about food within 10 minutes, you could be a robot.

For the creative:
TED Radio Hour: Ever watch a TED talk? Same concept, except it's been formatted to fit your ears.

For the storyteller:
The Moth: This was the show that first got my hooked into radio.  The Moth is a non-profit that fronts itself with the slogan, "True stories told in front of a live audience".  Actors, writers, journalists even everyday folks tell stories that are hilarious, dark or moving in some capacity.  You can even venture to a live performance here.

For the inquisitive:
Radiolab: A smart and fascinating in-depth look at a variety of topics.  What I love most about this one is that you feel like you accidentally dropped in on a scientists lab room and you're aren't leaving anytime soon.

For the domesticated:
A Prairie Home Companion: Garrison Keillor leads this program with the style of an old variety show.  I imagine families back in 1945 huddled around the radio and eating Jiffy pop.  He always ends the show with a brief lecture called 'The News from Lake Wobegon' which has a sermonic feel, as though Father time himself was speaking directly to you.

For the introspective:
On Being: This is a newer one for me, but the fact that Krista Tippett interviews so many leaders of the world in such a comfortable, inviting atmosphere makes this a perfect accompaniment when you're craving some meaningful conversation.

Whether you're in traffic, getting some exercise outdoors or just prepping for dinner, podcasts and radio are an exciting world to get lost in.

Happy listening!

.: Anais :.

On 2015.

Happy New Year! We're day three into what seems to be a promising and outstanding year.  I can feel it.

Malibu, Calif.

After the Christmas chaos and New Year's champagne had been sipped, it was nice to settle into the calm weekend and really allow for some self-reflection and evaluation.  While I create intentions and goals every January 1st, this year I did it a little differently.

One of my favorite writers, Danielle LaPorte, has a fantastic book called 'The Desire Map', which is all about finding your Core Desired Feelings.

"You're not chasing a goal, you're chasing a feeling."

Other than her just being a knock-out spiritual warrior of a woman, I love the concept of building our lives and dreams intrinsically.  So often, we can run around chasing something we think we want, only to attain it and end up feeling more empty or disappointed than before.  I've been working on my CDFs for the past few months, and fiiiiinally whittled 'em down to these five:

EXPANSIVE

AUTHENTIC

DARING

IN FLOW

NOURISHED

Daring. That one makes my stomach flip.  In a good way ;)

What are some of your New Year resolutions or goals? Any words that come to mind, heart and soul?  I invite you all to conduct your own ritual of sorts, and get cozy with yourself and your wanting. 

keep mining + shining,

Anais 

Sunday slowdown.

Sundays are by far, my favorite day of the week.  There is such a gentle calm that overlays the day, as if time has stopped for a bit.  We all can breathe a little easier.  You find you have an extra hour or two to pick up that novel you've been wanting to read, a few extra dollars to treat yourself to an iced coffee, or perhaps an afternoon nap with no responsibilities.  Whatever the indulgence is, Sunday gives us all (and me especially) the permission that we seek throughout the week to just sloooow down.

My Sundays consist of stocking up on produce via the Farmer's Market, quieting my mind with a neighborhood run or yoga practice, and catching the latest episode of Super Soul Sunday where I can fill my spiritual tank for the week ahead.  If you haven't heard of this show, I urge you to get your favorite tea, a blanket (if you're anywhere else but LA) and get cozy for an hour.  Oprah sits down with writers, teachers, actors (sometimes under her beautiful Oak trees) and they share a conversation about life and living with an open heart and spirit.  The episode usually ends with a sweet, light-hearted short film that encapsulates the episode.  I actually got the honor to be in one of these videos, and it was by far one of the best days I've experienced.  If you're feeling like you need a little love, check it out here.

Some of the lessons I've been focusing on is living with more grace, and opening myself up to allow more love into my life.  Not to be confused with romantic love (although it does play a part), but rather unconditional love.  The kind of love we all have access to, yet close off when enduring difficult times.  Some of the questions I ask myself daily : How can I deepen my practice of self-love? How can I love the people I'm surrounded by? How can I allow more light and love into my daily practice of living in the moment? I invite you to look at the areas of your life that could use a little love.  After all, that's what we really want, isn't it?

Happy Sunday ;)

What Being Sick Showed Me

While most of the population spent their Labor Day weekends outdoors grilling, or by the coastal seaside building sandcastles, I spent the majority of my weekend (and pre-weekend) fast asleep in my bed battling a terrible head cold.

It did not come as any surprise that I fell ill.  For the month of August, there were many workshops, gatherings, goodbyes, birthdays and social outings.  While most of these are positives in my life, I found myself struggling to maintain it all, as if I was in a daily marathon.  In the past, when I’ve overloaded my schedule, it usually fights back and sentences me to a silly cold, all the while telling me to slow down.  In any case, it’s always an opportunity to re-align myself to better health.  Which leads to the following lessons:

Self Care is a must.  Seems obvious, right? We all lead such extraordinary lives, did we ever stop to consider taking a break?  Heck, even superheroes need some time off.  Knowing when your body needs some good ol’ R&R is a powerful thing.  This can include spending a day reading that novel you started 6 months ago, taking a long walk in nature, or just turning off your electronic devices and leaving the emails/web surfing for another day.  Trust me, it will all still be there.

Know when to say NO.  We all want to say yes to people, yes to the event, yes to the birthdays, for fear of missing out, or simply the fear of just honoring ourselves and saying no. I’m well aware of the times when my mouth says ‘yes’ while my soul and interior is saying, ‘Just stay home.  You need to take it easy’.

Silence is powerful.  In the midst of my body aches, I lost my voice and while it was painful, I have to admit, there was some relief in not having to speak all the time.  I had to listen more to myself, to my surroundings and really got more intimate with what my body was asking my for, which was to simply quiet down and rest.  You’d be surprised at how much you learn about yourself and your world when you dial down.

As summer comes to an end, and fall picks up, remember to take a moment and take care of yourself.  And pass me a kleenex please ;)

.:Anais:.

Found.

The clouds have been lifted.  Today is a beautiful, clear, blue-skied day.  

These past few weeks, my mind has been ruled by the evil monster of self-doubt and anxiety (I have yet to name this beast), causing me to seriously consider leaving and give up this whole profession.   The cancerous thought that began in your mind, sinks down into your heart, and eventually leaks into your soul.  And as hard as you try, no matter how many mantras you chant or spiritual books you've read, it doesn't soothe.  The remedy is no where to be found.

Yet, the small, ounce sized part of you that is buried beneath black lies makes you keep going.  Even when you don't want to.  And you pick yourself up, and drive through traffic, drag you feet up the stairs and find yourself in a classroom.  A classroom you've been to hundreds of times, full of people who have seen you laugh, and cry and everything in between.  These are the people who know you for who you really are.

And you find yourself again.

And it feels like home.